Anyone interested in teaming up?

Want to hire an Moho animator? Post your job listing here.

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synthsin75
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by synthsin75 » Sun Nov 16, 2014 7:55 am

I would be VERY surprised if anyone volunteered their time for that script.
Waan
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by Waan » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:26 am

I'd be up to team up, I mostly prefer vectorising (converting sketches or designs into a vector format to work and use within ASP) as well as rigging characters, I have a lot of fun doing that and always seem to learn something new and interesting, which makes me want to do even more!
Message me and I'll get you my email so we can talk some more if you'd be wanting to make use of my skills :)
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neeters_guy
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by neeters_guy » Sun Nov 16, 2014 12:22 pm

steveryan2 wrote:Zombie Status Update
Steve, since this thread is getting long and contains other sub topics, I consider starting a new thread devoted exclusively to this project, perhaps including a link back to this one for background.

For my progress, I have one view done so far based on jahnocli's swell drawings:
Image
NickMichaels
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by NickMichaels » Sun Nov 16, 2014 2:35 pm

Definitely. I think there's a few jokes like the Century 21 and the "Nick" er one, even though it's not referring to anyone. Thanks for the feedback. Any other jokes that your referring to? I also changed the scene where Dom finds out to a month later. I figured that would give enough time.
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by NickMichaels » Sun Nov 16, 2014 2:51 pm

Waan, yeah, I'd like your help. Sent you a PM.
steveryan2
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by steveryan2 » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:33 pm

neeters_guy wrote:
steveryan2 wrote:Zombie Status Update
Steve, since this thread is getting long and contains other sub topics, I consider starting a new thread devoted exclusively to this project, perhaps including a link back to this one for background.

For my progress, I have one view done so far based on jahnocli's swell drawings:
Image
Wholly cow Needers that is AWESOME!!

I am completely blown away!

I am also amazed at how quickly you did this. I love the zombie swagger; his walk reminds me of John Awayne (the old western star). Thus really makes my day.

I agree with your suggestion and will start a new thread just for this project.

Good job Needers and THANK YOU!!
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jahnocli
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by jahnocli » Sun Nov 16, 2014 6:05 pm

Cool, neeters!

Kinda busy with one or two other things at the moment, but I haven't forgotten the project. Will get back to it soon.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
steveryan2
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by steveryan2 » Sun Nov 16, 2014 10:30 pm

This question is for anyone; but hopefully one of the moderators will chime in.

I am going to start a new thread that is exclusive to the zombie project, per Neeter's recommendation. Should I put the new thread in the "Animation Jobs" section, or move it to the "Share Your Work" section?

thanks.
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by Danimal » Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:30 pm

synthsin75 wrote:I would be VERY surprised if anyone volunteered their time for that script.
Never before have truer words been spoken.

The script is sort of built in chunks. I read the first one (in bed) and it was possibly the most awful thing this forum has seen with the lone exception of that koala cartoon.

It's needless profanity and no story. I skipped directly to the end and there was a reference to "what the writers come up with." Self-referential humor like that is never funny. It's hackneyed at best.

The biggest, glaring flaw is: who cares? Why is moving to Vermont such a big thing? Why does it matter to the characters or the audience? Does Vermont contain terrors and horrors to chill the soul or is it a non-stop, dragout adventure? We'll never know because it's not addressed.

It's always good to have dreams and want to create something. Try to remember though, I can sit all alone and curse. Nothing's inherently entertaining about it. If people are going to watch, there needs to be a reason. They have to like someone or something about the show. There needs to be a hook. This has none of that. Take it back to the drawing board and work on some kind of plot and character development, otherwise this is definitely a one-off that will go nowhere and gain no attention from audiences or collaborators.
~Danimal
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by Danimal » Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:32 pm

steveryan2 wrote:I am going to start a new thread that is exclusive to the zombie project, per Neeter's recommendation. Should I put the new thread in the "Animation Jobs" section, or move it to the "Share Your Work" section?
Share Your Work seems more appropriate once there's animation or bits of the piece to watch. For now, this forum or even the Misc. Chit Chat one seem to be the right place to go.
~Danimal
steveryan2
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by steveryan2 » Mon Nov 17, 2014 7:29 pm

Nick,

If you don't mind I would like to offer some suggestions regarding your script. I only read about 3/4 through it but I think I get the gist of it.

When people sit to watch a show, the first questions they have in their mind are: What is this about? Why do I care? If it is a comedy then the expectations are MUCH higher because people want to laugh. So for comedy they will also ask "Is this funny?"

As I read through the script there was no answer to either question. I struggled to answer the first question "What is this about?" At first I thought it was just porn (why bother?). Then I thought it was some sort of road trip story as they move from California to Massachusetts to Vermont. None of the reasons for taking that journey made any sense to me. They are moving from CA to MA because MA has water? Doesn't CA have water? Then the script just glossed over the road trip. So why bother having that as part of the story? Then they get to Vermont and meet the neighbors and go out to dinner. Is this a fish out of water story where they are the kooky people in an environment where the people are completely the opposite of them? All in all I just can't wrap my head around what your story is about. And that is setting aside all of the language and gratuitous sex which I personally found offensive. But I'll set that aside for a moment and just look for any story value that I can find.

The second question "Why do I care?" was also not answered in the story. This has to do with the characters themselves; they have to be made sympathetic. There is rarely time for this in a short one-minute story, but your script is much longer so you must address this. Why does the audience like your characters? What about them is worthy of our sympathy? Because if we don't sympathize, we don't care. When we don't care we just tune out.

It opens with a sex scene. Why did you make this choice for your script? Was it the shock value? (it was shocking; too much so). I can tell you that the sex jokes were not worth having this as an opening scene. You mentioned that you are a fan of shows like Family Guy, which does have some level of shock value. But I think you pushed it way beyond that and therefore way beyond what most people are comfortable watching. If people want porn, they will find porn. But having a porn scene in an otherwise normal story will just turn people off.

Profanity is just a different variety of porn and many of the same rules apply. Just using bad language gratuitously has one of two effects on people; it shocks and offends them or else they just become bored with it because it is used so frequently. Bad language can be used to effect but only if it is used sparely and at the right moments. Just saying F this and F that and so on will not draw people into your story.

My suggestion is to figure out what your story is actually about. If it is a story about people on a journey from one place to another then focus on just that. Focus on all of the things that happen to people as they set out on a road trip or plane to a new place. If it is a story about a couple raising a son then focus just on that and skip the journey part. If it is a story about differences between California people and those of people living in Vermont, focus on that. Focus, focus, focus. Pick something; ONE thing and focus just on that.

Once you make that choice you can move onto answering the second question; Why do I care? You have to do this right away at or near the beginning of your story. Creating sympathetic characters can be done in any number of ways. Make them really good at something such as a sport, a hobby or their job. Make them an orphan or an outcast. Have them the recipient of some undeserved misfortune. Show them trying to be nice or do something nice to strangers or animals. These are all ways to create sympathy for your characters so that your audience will care.

It is pretty common for beginners to just start writing out dialog without thinking through and answering these two basic questions. But this approach rarely results in a finished story that anyone will want to watch. And if no one wants to watch, why go through all the trouble of producing it in the first place. There are many other things that should be considered when writing a good story, but you can't begin to address them until you address these two basic questions.

I hope that this doesn't discourage you from writing stories and wanting to create animation. My aim was to try to help by providing some high-level guidance and get you going on a better path. Best of luck to you.
NickMichaels
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by NickMichaels » Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:12 am

Thank you guys for the feedback. I do admit, the script doesn't have any "why" answers. However, I did write the thing in about 4 hours within one week. And too much "f" this and "f that. I guess that's why South Park and Family Guy suck now. When writing it, I either wanted something like SP and FG combined or a family thing, such as Bob's Burgers, which is the only show I enjoy that much. I went with the first one and guess it could be revamped, alot, badly. I'll be honest, again, that when I write alone, I just seem to get bored as hell and get off-track. I'll start revamping the script.

Or, if you guys would like to help me or join me to start something brand new as an animated comedy focusing on a family in Vermont, or another state. I just figure maybe it would be better as a group collaboration to write a good animated comedy. Not even a family, something else. I just really want to share my jokes and ideas in an animated cartoon manor.
steveryan2
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by steveryan2 » Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:55 am

Nick,

Although story writing is integral to most animation production, I haven't seen a lot of people discussing that here. If I am wrong and just haven't come across it, let me know as I haven't yet found a good forum where people discuss or collaborate on story ideas. You probably won't get a lot of takers in terms of collaboration until you have nailed down what it is your story is about. A good story is contagious and will naturally draw people to it. But first you have to figure out what your show is about. This is a journey and will take longer than just four hours. Once you have figured out your story and who your characters are, this will lend itself to different situations. At that point you may be able to crank out a rough script in four hours. Spend a lot of time on the characters; each one should be completely different from the other. Different likes, different temperaments, different approaches to problems.

Different people use various methods to come up with story ideas. One approach is to examine those shows that you like and try to figure out what they have in common. Of the shows you mention, one thing that they have in common is that they all contain irreverent humor. South Park in particular has incredibly crude humor but all the shows you mentioned do as well to some degree (I have only watched Bob's Burgers once so I'm not familiar with it). The second thing they have in common is that they are centered on family and friends. This is a common subject of most sitcoms because it is something that so many people can relate to. The trick is to examine the shows you like and compare them to other shows that you don't like as much, but that still focus on family and or friends. For example, both South Park and Friends are sitcoms center around the daily activities of friends. Aside from the fact that once is animated and the other isn't, why do you prefer South Park over Friends? Try to really nail down exactly what it is that you like, and what you don't like about each show. Get really specific and make a list. This whole process is to help you identify for yourself what you like the most. What types of characters? How many key characters? What is their gender and age makeup? Do you relate more to kids (South Park), or more to Homer Simpson? Which do you like the most? Why?

Family Guy is a sitcom about a overweight, middle-aged guy who lives in the suburbs and has a family. At that basic level he is like millions of average people across the world. This situation is also the same situation as dozens of other live-action sitcoms. But what makes Family Guy unique (other than being animated)? What makes it better (in your opinion) than the other sitcoms that are about similar situations? A few ideas that come to mind:
A talking baby with a British accent, and a brilliant devious mind. That's hilarious!
A walking talking dog that is smarter than everybody else in the house.
An outcast teenage hippie daughter that is ridiculed by her own family.
A nervous, clueless teenage son.

I recently watched an episode of Family Guy and the plot was simple; Peter and the dog were trying to get a turkey at the last minute on Thanksgiving. The plot itself was simple, it was the conflict created by the personalities of the different characters that resulted in the humor.

So if you can really think through and figure out what you like, being very specific, then you can use that as a model for the basis of your own show. Of course you will need to give it a unique spin. But first do the work of figuring out what you like.
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synthsin75
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Re: Anyone interested in teaming up?

Post by synthsin75 » Tue Nov 18, 2014 2:03 am

NickMichaels wrote:Or, if you guys would like to help me or join me to start something brand new as an animated comedy focusing on a family in Vermont, or another state. I just figure maybe it would be better as a group collaboration to write a good animated comedy. Not even a family, something else. I just really want to share my jokes and ideas in an animated cartoon manor.
So...maybe a family....maybe in Vermont? I thought you had some sort of definite story you wanted to tell through animation. Sounds like nothing more than an ADHD whim at this point. Good luck.
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