Coming back home!!
Moderators: Víctor Paredes, Belgarath, slowtiger
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13YearsOldAnimator
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:12 pm
Coming back home!!
This is my newest movie - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP0ptVMzM0I - watch and comment!! thx alot
Heh.. I'm 15 naw! =D
Great music, but the animation quality doesn't quit fit the sound quality IMO. IOW there doesn't seem to happen anything. You'd expect a story, but I can't see a story, only unrelated snippets of animation.
Did you storyboard this animation? I'm under the impression you didn't and it shows. I have seen much better animation by you.
I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but if everyone keeps saying you're so good for your age, you will never progress.
And you asked for opinions, didn't you?
Did you storyboard this animation? I'm under the impression you didn't and it shows. I have seen much better animation by you.
I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but if everyone keeps saying you're so good for your age, you will never progress.
And you asked for opinions, didn't you?
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13YearsOldAnimator
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:12 pm
sure i wanted comments!
I didn except ppl saying "omg! u awesome! u're god!", and im happy it's not like that.
First of all, i did storyboarded ;], it's just.. uhm.. un-understandbul.. (bad word)..
Second, i used the best graphics quality moho can render with mov MPEG4.. and it was 60 mb and took 2 hrs to uplaod.. :O
Third of all, (and i forgot to put this title on) - my movie has it's msg.
The boy ran away from his past, but now he conciders coming back and facing his memories - like i wanted to quote: "Don't let you'r memories chase you"..
I'm allready thinking bout the next project, but i really, REALLY, need a designer... Im suckie in chars and world design...
Thx for the building comment!
13YOA (btw im allready 14 xS)
I didn except ppl saying "omg! u awesome! u're god!", and im happy it's not like that.
First of all, i did storyboarded ;], it's just.. uhm.. un-understandbul.. (bad word)..
Second, i used the best graphics quality moho can render with mov MPEG4.. and it was 60 mb and took 2 hrs to uplaod.. :O
Third of all, (and i forgot to put this title on) - my movie has it's msg.
The boy ran away from his past, but now he conciders coming back and facing his memories - like i wanted to quote: "Don't let you'r memories chase you"..
I'm allready thinking bout the next project, but i really, REALLY, need a designer... Im suckie in chars and world design...
Thx for the building comment!
13YOA (btw im allready 14 xS)
Heh.. I'm 15 naw! =D
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jezjones29
- Posts: 339
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:43 pm
- Location: Wales, UK
- Contact:
Hello again,
I have a few comments about the animation first, before we get to the storytelling aspects (yes, even a music video is telling a story!).
Your animation skills are good (the walk cycle when the guy is thinking, while not perfect, is looking pretty good!), and continue to improve. However, I have a couple of things you can think about for your next work.
- ease in/ease out
When you are cutting into a clip, a motion is just starting up. It starts slower, getting faster and faster, then as the clip is about to end, the motion gets slower and slower. To me, this is a giveaway. Try using "linear" for your keyframes (in your timeline) instead of ease in/ease out. It will make it look a lot more natural, since your style is to have lots of clips.
- backgrounds
Especially when you are trying to convey motion (such as moving through trees) you get the impression that the trees are moving instead. Try adding more background elements. I think this also goes for most scenes. It will give your animation much more depth and visual interest.
- pace
I think each shot needs to be a bit "tighter". At the end of a lot of shots, I was waiting for the next shot. They need to be shorter at the end. Are you using one long moho file, or putting it together in a video editor? I would suggest using the latter, then you have more control.
Now as far as the storytelling, you have some really good work here, along with some disjointed work, as Rasheed mentions.
I really liked the imagery of the angry face and claw coming out of the cloud (though I found the words distracting). I also really liked the sun and moon getting faster and faster then pan to the silhouette of the guy.
Remember, you're trying to tell a story here. In your notes at the bottom you say that it's about a boy who's lost his way. But the clips seem to be just a collection of clips. Not a beginning, middle, or ending. They need to tell a story too! Imagine if there wasn't any music, and try to tell the story that way. How would you do that?
I think Rasheed's idea of using storyboards is a good one. Even if it's just scraps of paper, not anything formal. Just to get you thinking about the story you're telling, the order of the images you have in your head, and how it all comes together.
For your next effort, try something smaller, less than a minute maybe? And maybe try some lip sync? Just a couple of ideas.
But overall, keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see what you do next.
jorgy
I have a few comments about the animation first, before we get to the storytelling aspects (yes, even a music video is telling a story!).
Your animation skills are good (the walk cycle when the guy is thinking, while not perfect, is looking pretty good!), and continue to improve. However, I have a couple of things you can think about for your next work.
- ease in/ease out
When you are cutting into a clip, a motion is just starting up. It starts slower, getting faster and faster, then as the clip is about to end, the motion gets slower and slower. To me, this is a giveaway. Try using "linear" for your keyframes (in your timeline) instead of ease in/ease out. It will make it look a lot more natural, since your style is to have lots of clips.
- backgrounds
Especially when you are trying to convey motion (such as moving through trees) you get the impression that the trees are moving instead. Try adding more background elements. I think this also goes for most scenes. It will give your animation much more depth and visual interest.
- pace
I think each shot needs to be a bit "tighter". At the end of a lot of shots, I was waiting for the next shot. They need to be shorter at the end. Are you using one long moho file, or putting it together in a video editor? I would suggest using the latter, then you have more control.
Now as far as the storytelling, you have some really good work here, along with some disjointed work, as Rasheed mentions.
I really liked the imagery of the angry face and claw coming out of the cloud (though I found the words distracting). I also really liked the sun and moon getting faster and faster then pan to the silhouette of the guy.
Remember, you're trying to tell a story here. In your notes at the bottom you say that it's about a boy who's lost his way. But the clips seem to be just a collection of clips. Not a beginning, middle, or ending. They need to tell a story too! Imagine if there wasn't any music, and try to tell the story that way. How would you do that?
I think Rasheed's idea of using storyboards is a good one. Even if it's just scraps of paper, not anything formal. Just to get you thinking about the story you're telling, the order of the images you have in your head, and how it all comes together.
For your next effort, try something smaller, less than a minute maybe? And maybe try some lip sync? Just a couple of ideas.
But overall, keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see what you do next.
jorgy
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13YearsOldAnimator
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:12 pm
Once again, thank you all for commenting!
I'm currently worknig on another project, Soul Reaver, story in 3 episodes (Currently in the early storyboarding levels).
First of all, im happy that the comments aren't only "wow u good for u're age keep the good work", also happy that they're not "u suck. quit animating."
This project, i'm starting with you'r advices.
First of all, i improved my story boarding. Because this gonna be a project with depht, i've started my story boarding with world mapping, character and global descriptions.
For example: I mapped "Sparta" land, with it's 5 cities, in the middel Darkasta, wich will be the blasting ending scene.
according to Sparta, i've made Angelista, with the Crimsons lair, when i allready know wat's gonna happen there, and those are guiding lines, to prevent contradiction.
I'm really hope this project will be better, and i'll show u everything i'll need help with, cuz i love hearing advices to "how to make better" more than "how awesome is that".
thx alot again!
13YOA (14 allready...)
I'm currently worknig on another project, Soul Reaver, story in 3 episodes (Currently in the early storyboarding levels).
First of all, im happy that the comments aren't only "wow u good for u're age keep the good work", also happy that they're not "u suck. quit animating."
This project, i'm starting with you'r advices.
First of all, i improved my story boarding. Because this gonna be a project with depht, i've started my story boarding with world mapping, character and global descriptions.
For example: I mapped "Sparta" land, with it's 5 cities, in the middel Darkasta, wich will be the blasting ending scene.
according to Sparta, i've made Angelista, with the Crimsons lair, when i allready know wat's gonna happen there, and those are guiding lines, to prevent contradiction.
I'm really hope this project will be better, and i'll show u everything i'll need help with, cuz i love hearing advices to "how to make better" more than "how awesome is that".
thx alot again!
13YOA (14 allready...)
Heh.. I'm 15 naw! =D
Just for the sake of avoiding confusion I think you ought to name "sparta" something else since Sparta is a town in ancient Greece. To say that Sparta is something completely different from what it is might confuse people and make your story less believable.13YearsOldAnimator wrote:...example: I mapped "Sparta" land, with it's 5 cities...
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13YearsOldAnimator
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:12 pm
