EVIL CLOWN TERRORIZES GHETTO

[mrchris1234]

I bet you never seen this before... A Scary Clown terrorizing the Ghetto, RayRay and his friend Malik are caught right in the middle of all the mayhem while trying to make it home safely Special thanks to my talented and wonderful Niece, DES for doing the
vocals for cartoon character Malik, Programs used to make this video are Anime Studio pro 8, Photoshop and Power director 8,
the Audio special FX I created in this animation was created using Fruity loops Music software, all other character voices by me.
Hope you enjoyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuFUlJRaui0

[Genete]

The upper teeth of the characters hurt my eye.
-G

[mrchris1234]

The upper teeth of the characters hurt my eye.
-G

Sorry to here that, Genete, put a few drops in your eyes... that'll take care of that problem, lol also thanks for taking the time to view my work

[jahnocli]

Couldn't get to the end -- it was too slow. When I see cartoons/animation, I sometimes ask myself "could this be done just as well in live action?", and the answer here is "yes" (of the bit that I saw). That's not a good thing. It all needs beefing up. It's a cartoon -- exaggerate!

[mrchris1234]

Couldn't get to the end -- it was too slow. When I see cartoons/animation, I sometimes ask myself "could this be done just as well in live action?", and the answer here is "yes" (of the bit that I saw). That's not a good thing. It all needs beefing up. It's a cartoon -- exaggerate!

thanks a bunch for taking the time to see my work and leaving comment, I'm actually happy with the way it came out... it's like cooking meat... if you rush it the outside gets done too fast. lol I could have just shown the clown bust in and attack but that's not what I was looking for here. you should have checked out the ending...it was the best part.. it wasn't a horror flick like it appears in the beginning, it was a comedy with an ending punch line. when I see horror flicks there's not any action sometimes for a whole hour ,, just build up and suspense. But thanks any way for the little time you spent checking it out.

[eric1223]

I've seen the whole thing and the ending was the best part imo. I caught myself chuckling at it because it would be embarrassing for a evil clown parent to come in and said what he said in the middle of his spree. However, I do agree with jahnocli. The pace is too slow.

The animation could use some work as well. Search for the principals of animations online, and that will help you improve. I recommend storyboarding and doing an animatic for your whole animation before you work on it in AS (unless you do that in AS).

The drawings of the backgrounds, characters, and the music you had were spot on. I liked your story too.

Last but not least, your voice work could use some work. Your characters sounds ....really dry for their situation they are in. If there were a evil clown in your hood, would you and all of your characters be so nonchalant? I think not! Add life to them! pretend you are them, and not just speaking for them through a mic.

Glad you are happy with it. Keep it up.

[mrchris1234]

I've seen the whole thing and the ending was the best part imo. I caught myself chuckling at it because it would be embarrassing for a evil clown parent to come in and said what he said in the middle of his spree. However, I do agree with jahnocli. The pace is too slow.

The animation could use some work as well. Search for the principals of animations online, and that will help you improve. I recommend storyboarding and doing an animatic for your whole animation before you work on it in AS (unless you do that in AS).

The drawings of the backgrounds, characters, and the music you had were spot on. I liked your story too.

Last but not least, your voice work could use some work. Your characters sounds ....really dry for their situation they are in. If there were a evil clown in your hood, would you and all of your characters be so nonchalant? I think not! Add life to them! pretend you are them, and not just speaking for them through a mic.

Glad you are happy with it. Keep it up.

Thanks for the feedback, Eric... the ending was the main part that I knew would catch people off guard. lol .. glad you liked it. lol I'm not a voice actor and the recorder I used was handheld so as far as that goes I can't do a professional voice over... I work a full time job sometimes 12 hours a day and Saturdays and then create my animation and drawing tutorials on my little free time so there are limitations and I sure wasn't putting any more work into this extremely long project. it was a nightmare just getting it down with my work schedule. I was going to add even more, But who has that kind of time. lol

I kept everything simple, including the animation and eliminating a lot of extra drawings to get it down. I was going to have the clown chase them through the house which would have been so cool...I even designed all the rooms and everything but aint no way I'm spending more months on that! my bad sinus changes my voice so doing the voice over wasn't easy at all but I did it. you should have heard it before I cut out the stuffy noise parts.. a lot of retakes and holding my breath as i spoke so the stuffy nose isn't noticeable. it was terrible sounding. I designed the sound FX too using fruity loops because I knew the sound had to have feeling and set the mood.
I recorded all my vocals while at work on my lunch break without special equipment. lol I'm familiar with story boarding and expressions too.. taught cartooning, character design and comic book creations for 11 years but just cant commit to that kind of time with my work schedule. lol Thanks a lot for your time and comments. got new stuff in the works.. just gotta find time to do it. peace out.

[Danimal]

it was a comedy with an ending punch line. when I see horror flicks there's not any action sometimes for a whole hour ,, just build up and suspense.

The thing is that this isn't a horror film and you're dealing with an age of non-existent attention spans. I stuck around to the end, but it wasn't easy. It's OK to have a punchline at the end, but there's nothing of interest leading up to it. In fact, it has all of the worst in padding:

"There's a clown"
"A clown?"
"Yes a clown"
"It's a clown?"
"A clown and it took some shoes"
"It took shoes?"
"That's right, it took shoes"

Way way way too much repetition. This builds boredom, not suspense. Nothing happens as the two guys are talking. It takes what seems like 20 minutes just for the guy to stop knocking and asking to be let in. To build suspense, we need to see the clown closing in on them or something. Or sneaking up from his point of view. Otherwise it's just two guys yapping about nothing with an irritating piano note droning in the background.

I tend to say this a lot on here, but the fact is this would have worked very well as about a 30 second bit, maybe a minute tops. The character design is very good, with a great use of shading. I also really liked the look of the clown. Had you not specifically said to wait for the ending though, I'd have bailed at about the 30 second mark.

[sargumphigaus]

I dug the horror movie aspect behind it. The way you used the light was good, and you really set the mood with your textures and usage of colors. But alas, I'm going to have to sound like everyone else here and tell you that you're lacking in the pacing department. You can cut half the dialogue out, and experiment with the characters body language more. There was an angle where the character is pointing towards the camera. That was definitely a welcome sight because it broke the monotony of the cinematography. Assuming that your challenge is to build suspense by drawing it out, you need to find ways to keep it fresh without it SEEMING like you're trying to do it. One of the issues in this that make it too obvious of your intention lies in the way that they use the same gestures over and over again with the arm waving. The solution isn't complicated. you just need to add new inventive gestures. Little things that can keep the viewers eyes occupied. When we see the same thing over and over, we get bored. Mix it up. You'll get there.

[mrchris1234]

it was a comedy with an ending punch line. when I see horror flicks there's not any action sometimes for a whole hour ,, just build up and suspense.

The thing is that this isn't a horror film and you're dealing with an age of non-existent attention spans. I stuck around to the end, but it wasn't easy. It's OK to have a punchline at the end, but there's nothing of interest leading up to it. In fact, it has all of the worst in padding:

"There's a clown"
"A clown?"
"Yes a clown"
"It's a clown?"
"A clown and it took some shoes"
"It took shoes?"
"That's right, it took shoes"

Way way way too much repetition. This builds boredom, not suspense. Nothing happens as the two guys are talking. It takes what seems like 20 minutes just for the guy to stop knocking and asking to be let in. To build suspense, we need to see the clown closing in on them or something. Or sneaking up from his point of view. Otherwise it's just two guys yapping about nothing with an irritating piano note droning in the background.

I tend to say this a lot on here, but the fact is this would have worked very well as about a 30 second bit, maybe a minute tops. The character design is very good, with a great use of shading. I also really liked the look of the clown. Had you not specifically said to wait for the ending though, I'd have bailed at about the 30 second mark.

Good to hear you stood around to the end. Danimal.. I knew you could do it. lol. Glad you dig the character design.. that's my specialty. I had other clown designs I was going to use but stuck with that on.. I actually drew and created the clown face in Photoshop and used the smudge tool to alter his face to give it that texture. I also like the piano note ..... I'm not trying to win a Grammy. lol But I'll take one if you offer it. it's just a video... no more no less.. and not a big deal.. just a video. And as I said before.. I'm happy with the way it came out and love all the cool suggestions and insights posted here... and as far as animation techniques go... that's not always the focus.. look at South park.. one of the biggest mega hit animations shows ever.. with hardly any movement. lol but the show is so cool without all the high tech animation techniques.
the legs don't even move and the characters hop instead of walk .. never done before...but the show is so cool without all the high tech animation techniques. thanks for all the cool ideas. I'll be back with some more stuff to make your day.lol

[mrchris1234]

I dug the horror movie aspect behind it. The way you used the light was good, and you really set the mood with your textures and usage of colors. But alas, I'm going to have to sound like everyone else here and tell you that you're lacking in the pacing department. You can cut half the dialogue out, and experiment with the characters body language more. There was an angle where the character is pointing towards the camera. That was definitely a welcome sight because it broke the monotony of the cinematography. Assuming that your challenge is to build suspense by drawing it out, you need to find ways to keep it fresh without it SEEMING like you're trying to do it. One of the issues in this that make it too obvious of your intention lies in the way that they use the same gestures over and over again with the arm waving. The solution isn't complicated. you just need to add new inventive gestures. Little things that can keep the viewers eyes occupied. When we see the same thing over and over, we get bored. Mix it up. You'll get there.

thanks Sargumphigaus,
for the cool suggestions... Danimal is going to give me a Grammy for my outstanding work and I want you to be at my acceptance speech to cheer me own , HA HA HA. When it comes to creating animation videos Cars, creatures, aliens and machines are my specialty, I rarely do people accept in comic strips. I had multi gestures and poses because that's what I do, but just didn't have a lot of time to put it all together to animate it. If south park could get away with limited gestures and become a Mega Hit then I'm all with it too. lol. thanks a bunch for your insight, Peace out.

[mrchris1234]

I want to thank everyone for all the cool comments and suggestions on my Clown Video. I may even listen to some of it. but on another note.. I'll be signing autographs in the lobby if any one is interested. lol Bring your own bottle, though cause booze ain't cheap!... for sure.

[djwaterman]

Y'know this work is generally getting better each time, and this really does look pretty good design-wise, but I'll add my agreement to most of the other comments in that the piece needs some editing/pacing. Probably the only places it needs to retain the current lengths are in the about to open the door and clown in the doorway parts.

I would listen to any feedback because this stuff could start looking pretty pro very quickly and might go some where.

[mrchris1234]

Y'know this work is generally getting better each time, and this really does look pretty good design-wise, but I'll add my agreement to most of the other comments in that the piece needs some editing/pacing. Probably the only places it needs to retain the current lengths are in the about to open the door and clown in the doorway parts.

I would listen to any feedback because this stuff could start looking pretty pro very quickly and might go some where.

Thanks a lot djwateran, for checking out my work.. Now YOU and Sargumphigaus who commented above know how to execute helpful criticism without sounding like some angry person that just broke up with his girlfriend! lol... like what I've been reading above... they need to learn a few lessons from you two guys on the different between angry ranting and helpful criticism.
What I wanted to do was have the clown run up to the door while it was opened ans then have the door slam in his face..I actually drew and animated the clown doing such as that but my laptop started chocking and freezing up over and over again and I said .. THAT'S IT! I'm Done.. I'm actually creating a video on the concept of combing Photoshop and an animation program to create some unique images just like I there here. Not to many animators seem to get into that area much but the possibilities are endless.I use the concept all the time because I like Photoshop and anime studio Pro, Be sure to check it out when I finish it and upload. thanks for the cool comment, you're a gentleman worth listening to.

[Danimal]

how to execute helpful criticism without sounding like some angry person that just broke up with his girlfriend!

One of these days I'll remember that when people post stuff they're not looking for the truth, but just compliments. Have you met up with the koala guy? You two would get along great. You, he, and Scabie could produce a megacartoon of never-before-seen proportions!

It's good to be proud of your work. After all, doing is more than what 95% of people out there do. It's also good to notice a common theme, no matter how honest or sugar coated people put it to you. When everyone says the same thing, it's not everyone else who's wrong.